I have nothing more to do in school. Only four normal days left. And it's just weird.

Det va han som ville kyssa mig.

The fallen are the virtues.

This is my 401:st blog post. Quite cool. Never thought I would remember it for so long. So lets be a little sentimental. When I first started this blog around one and a half year ago I was a lovesick junior who was kind of tired of school. One and a half yeara, but for me it could easily be a decade. So much has happened, I've grown stronger and more independent and instead of having every other blog post about guys it's more relaxed. So in two weeks and one day I will finish high school. Am I ready? Don't think so, but will I ever be?

You and I, now.

Veronica Maggio – Jag kommer

I made out with a guy. First time ever. It was fun? OK, but the funny things was that when he began to "make his moves" then the other guy I had checked out sat down on the other sida of me. And when we were making out a girl whom I've been talking to in the toilet picked at me and asked if I was having a good time, and then when I didn't remember his name, she introduced herself to him so I found out his name. And then came the funniest part, she said "Well, he's cute and all, but you're way hotter than him, you can get better...". Best compliment ever. From a stranger.

One week to dead-line.

I just wanna write about love. This whole concept that everyone seems to be aiming at. Personally I've never been head over heels, swiped off my feet- in love with anyone. Sure I see good looking guys every day but never have I felt like I craved for someone. Neither sexually nor mentally. And up until some months ago, when I didn't have anything else to say, I would sigh and say with my pity-voice "I want a boyfriend...". It's a great conversation starter when you're with your single friends, but I can't help thinking that I just want a boyfriend for the sake of it. Because that's what you're supposed to have in you're late teen. I would want it for getting a little bit closer to being perfect, not for the sex nor the "not being alone"-part of it 'cause frankly I quite enjoy being alone. And that is just not a good reason. J is talking about all the time and sure it can be fun, but I don't really care for that at all. Not that I would say no to having a boyfriend if it really was love, but I just don't see the point chasing after it. And my life wouldn't have room for an extra person who would want more attention than my friends surely.

What if some people are just supposed to be, not lonely, but alone?

I did the CAE today, and well I believe it went pretty well.

Listening to the kind of music she doesn't like.

Today I woke up and well, wasn't that happy. I threw stuff around while I was doing my make-up. So I got prepared for a shitday. But it went the better way. Anyways, because of that I would to start a new thing on this blog. For myself: 5 happy things. Yeah, just five moments that made the day a little bit better. Here we go.

1. The man in EP that was from Australia and gave me a big latte to the price of a small one.

2. My art teacher said I was talented in art.

3. My italian teacher said she was going to miss me and my friend when we leave school.

4. In TopShop when I told A the story about the guy at my work that knows the guys we stalked last year, and she laughed.

5. The cherry blossom tree in our garden that the pink petals are falling from.

That's a waste of time.

I don't know. Just felt lucky right now. Laying in bed with Patti Smith's book and painting my nails in the colour "Too hot pink to hold 'em". Tomorrow I'll be doing the CAE-test and work. I was out yesterday, and crashed in L's apartment. Pretty awesome. Had a test today too. I think it went well. Hopefully. And J's and C's plan about me and G making out isn't going well, thankfully. Although we've talked a lot. And he thinks I'm cute. Pfhh, who wouldn't?