Happy birthday to me.

It's my birthday tomorrow. I have just finished painting my nails in Mavalas 'Velvet' and tomorrow I will wear a dress. Well, you only have one birthday after all. What I wish for? I wish I got a festival-ticket, a trip to my beloved London, that hair that she has in the picture above, white teeth, two Acne-tops and a happy birthday.

I want you now, like I had you before.

Melissa Horn – Som jag hade dig förut - med Lars Winnerbäck

I have my heart in a cage.

I was going to post this a while ago, but I guess I forgot the feeling and what it was I wanted to tell. But now that ache in my belly has returned. Friends. What would we be without them? According to Carrie Bradshaw; nothing. So what do you do when a friend lets you down? How much should you be willing to take until the limit is reached? I just know how much I love them, but even love can end. In a realationship you are told never to take the other person for granted. In friendship you are told to always be there for the other. When does 'always' turn into 'granted'?
The ache in my belly is caused by a friend. It's hard. To boys you can only say "Go to hell" and never ever speak to them again. To friends, it's not that simple. You want to forgive them, to be the bigger person, but it's so hard when they don't seem to understand how much it hurts. So then you're stuck. Moment 22. You want to 'break-up', to just say "Bye, forever", but you can't. You can't see your life without that person. You remember every time he or she has made you laugh, explore thing you wouldn't dare to do alone and how happy you could become just by seeing that friend standing there at the bus station waiting for you. Then you knew that you would have a great time. Now you're just trying to know him or her again. Understand what went wrong. Why don't I know all the secret gestures she or he does, the inside-jokes and the troubles, you wonder.
Is that when you should let go?

Don't you ever forget.

And all you want is to always feel happy for them because you know that if you do, then it means that you're happy too.

I have had a pretty tough start of the school. A lot of studying, a lot of trying to avoid studying and a lot of time spend on bus stations 'cause the bus/train/tram has been cancelled. Yeah, you then understand how annoyed and pissed of I've been on everything this week. Damn the snow that just gets in your way, the icicles that hangs on the edge of the roofs so you don't dare to go on the pavement, the homework, the bloody stupid teachers that has "forgotten" to tell you that today it's a test and damn the bus company in my city. So now that I've told you that happy story we can continue.
I bought two new nail polishes today a beige/pink one and a bronze one. That made my day a little better. Tried on some spring-clothes too! Lovely things on H&M, Zara and Acne. Oh gosh, me and J are thinking about getting tanned in a solarium. And I want to start excercise. What else? Yeah, tomorrow I have to lie to my teacher 'cause I haven't done the school assignment, and I hate lying but I really haven't had the time. A math test is tomorrow too, I don't feel totally sure but let's hope for the best.
I want a boyfriend! A sweet, loving, caring, funny boyfriend. Today when I was on my way to the school I saw a couple that stood and made out just round the corner from my school. I know who they are and I'm superduperjealous of them. And I hate every silly couple that hold hands in the shoppingcentres. What is wrong with me, why can't I get one guy to like me?
Me and J skipped our italian class today. I was in the school already when she called and we decided not to go. Haha, you should have seen me! I had to get out without anyone seeing me, so there was James Bond-moves all the way! Then I walked down the street and one of the hot senior guys came walking towards me. I can get really, I don't know, like scared and I didn't dare to look him in the eyes until we were like 5 meters from eachother. Then I caught him looking (checking me out?) at me. He's so hot. And tanned! Yeah, we will totally go and tan next week! Me and J of course not him.
Sorry for a really mixed text. Just have to clear my mind a little bit.

One day the sun will come out.

There is a special place in hell for fahion bloggers.

Mulberry is one of the fashion labels I love, the other is Fendi, YSL, Miu Miu, Chloé, Acne and Lanvin (imagine having one of those blue boxes outside your front door a cold Monday morning, heavenly!), so when I opened my mail-box and found the fashion show video I got above excited! Here it is. Love the leo-jacket, the whole outfit that Diana Moldovan wore and please, bring me this grey outfit. Don't even mention this outfit, gosh, I almost want a leather jacket.

By the way when I'm getting married it will be in a Lanvin. Maybe something like this, this or maybe this. And with a veil like this or a shorter one. Anyway my bridal outfit will come in a blue box.

And when we're already in the topic. Yesstyle it THE best online shop I know. I want E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!

Next fall I will.

I will have a see-through umbrella. And see 'Singing in the rain'.

I will have applied for Cambridge.

I will fika too much with my friends. We will be the cool senior-girls.

I will actually learn how to make chocolate chip cookies.

I will have found my signature scent.

I will have a new 'oh-so-expensive'-bag.

I will test the ACNE boots, although I can't see myself in them.

I will listen to new great bands and go to gigs all the time.

This coat is honestly to die for. I have to have it. I almost long for the next fall when I see it.

Paolo Nutini – These Streets

I have mixtured feelings for the next fall. At one hand it's going to be SOOO nice being a senior, looking down on the little freshmans, just knowing you will be out of there soon. On the other - I don't want to grow up. What about being a child, stalking the hot guys in the hallways, laughing hile we run down the stairs, flipping through Metro to check our horoscopes and just being silly?

Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made and forgot to put a soul into.

Things that I - not only want - NEED!

Uno. By Malene Birger sunglasses. Don't cost a fortune (like the Chloe one that I actually want) and is hot hot HOT tortoise-shell coloured.

Due. A cardigan with buttons. Maybe white? Or navy! Who doesn't love navy? Well an Acne cardigan is high on the wish-list. No surprise there then.

Tre. Vitamin water. Hello obsession! I drank it every day in America, so tasty healthy and delicious.

Quattro. A signature scent. I have some aspirants: Miss Dior Cherié OR Bruberry The Beat OR a Make Up Store Fragrance Library scent.

(I love the first 50 seconds of Taylor Swift's song "Change". The rest of the song is BLAH BLAH.)
(Also the sweatpants I bought at A&F smells superdupergood but it's men's perfume. Dammit.)

Shake what your mama gave ya'!

Just some quick points.

Thursday
Saw "An Education" on the trip over. A dissapointment.
We took the

Friday
We rented a car (a Jeep of course, when you're in America, you're in America!) and started our drive to Philadelphia.
C and K are the cutest and most adorable children I know. Not shy and annoying at all. Just funny, charming and talkative! We played Wii Sports with them totally crazy!

Saturday
We woke up and ate a really great breakfast. visited a giant petstore called Petsmart. We had then sightsing in Philly. The "Rocky-stair". Ate dinner at a restaurant where they threw shrimps in your mouth.

Sunday
NY Rangers game where I met C. Giant hotelroom.

Monday
Woodbury Common!!!

Tuesday
Grand Central Station. M&M. NHL store. Dylan's Candybar. Apple Store. Central Park (squirrels).

Wednesday
Staten Island - boat, brooklyn bridge A&F Wallstreet

Thursday
UN

Friday
HOME!

And here we go again, we know the start, we know the end.

Various Artists – Voulez-Vous

Just beautiful.

There’s a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything, it’s not giving up. It’s realizing that you don’t need certain people and their crap.

You're so hot, teasing me.

I want a pair of cool sunglasses. A pair that says "oh-yeah-I-look-this-cool-every-fucking-day-so-it's-not-surprisingly-that-you-and-your-friends-are-checking-me-out".
Maybe these ones from Rayban. Just an ordinary, timeless, nice pair of sunglasses. But these one from Chloé (?), there's something about them. I wonder if they fit my face though...

Well, you don't kinda of know where you are in L.A.

Look at this episode. Brad get's a raise, 'cause Rachel wants him to buy the trench-coat! Can. I. Get. A. Boss. Like. That?

What's up with my heart when it skips a beat?

The Coral – Dreaming Of You

Smiling, having fun, feeling like a number one.

My friends think I should cut a fringe. "NO WAY!" Was my first thought. I had it when I was five-yers old and I have put that period behind me, but after a while the idea wasn't too bad. Maybe a little old school Elin Kling-style? Hm... Gonna think about for a couple of weeks. But I'm a total wimp when it comes to my hair (seriously, I've been "toppat" my hair for ten years now) so don't bet your money on it!

So sweet you make my mouth water.

Aaron Carter – I Want Candy

What was it that seemed so big? What was it that seemed so magical?

Parken – Jag Har Varit Vilsen, Lisa

What you do, the way you think, makes you beautiful.

Today I cleaned my room. Mhm. Damn right I did. With my specially made cleaning playlist beating in the loudspeakers. A great mixture of ABBA, Parken, Samtidigt Som, Taylor Swift, Laakso, Paolo Nutini and Brigitte Bardot. That I sang-along with the vacuum cleaner as a mic, dancing round and round , that we doesn't have to speak loud about.
I swam 800 meters at P.E. today and I was totally exhausted when I got up. I and A rewarded us with a 'share the gold'-meal at MC, later. And 'cause of some misunderstanding we got 8 dl of coke EACH! God, it was fun.

Here is a beuty-thingy with one of my favourite swedish bloggers (and we have many) Natalie Karlsson. So I think you should check it out!

Daddy, I want an italian!

Yeah, at our lessons we look at really important stuff. Although this one's really addictive!

I just wanted you to know that I'm not leaving the blog alone for a whole week. I will drop you a little song or thoughts every day - I promise.

You said that bananas could make us high.

Laakso – Norrköping

People are like songs, it's true. Some seems dull at first but then they grow on you.

Only three days 'til I get on the plane and head for the big U.S. and I'm superexcited. I only have the paper in english and then I'm free of homework (ok.. I think I deserve being free from homework). What will happen before thursday? Well tomorrow I have no plans. Maybe I will meet up some friend or just clean my room. Oh, we will have swim-test at P.E. tomorrow, and I'm not in the mood at all. On wendesday me L, H and A will play beachvolleyball for two hours. Fun fun fun!
I have added some blogs in the column on the right like Wish wish wish and Heart in a cage, there are so many beautiful blogs in the world. I hope I can be like them when I grow up.

When I'm down and my hands are tied.

If I were a boy.

At niotillfem she tells us how she would want to be if she was a boy. This is how I would be.

If I were a boy my name would be Matthew.
I would have high cheekbones, shaggy brown hair, warm blue eyes that all the girls would talk about and freckles.
I would memorize totally unnecessary facts and at moments of awkward silences I would say them, and people would smile.
I would wear trenchcoats.
My uncle would live in Paris and I would spend the summers at his house and learn french phrases that I would whisper in the ears of the girls I met at concerts and gigs.
I would love to ride my bicycle and would always blame it when I (as always) came five minutes late.
I would be very vacillate.
I would listen to Phoenix, Bob Dylan, french blues, Håkan Hellström and other nice music that I would have found in a thrift shops.
People would see me as a heart-breaker, but I wouldn't mean any harm.
I would secretly hate sports and would come up with lame excuses so I didn't have to watch the games.
My favourite dish would be pasta with chicken and parmesan and I would always cook it when I invited girls over.
My favourite colour would be blue.
I would read the same book over and over again and I would quote from it as often as I could.
I would fall for girls that speaks a little too fast, only wears mascara, spends their last money on red nail polish and listens to Brigitte Bardot.
I would visit my grandmother every Tuesday and listen to stories about how she met my grandfather and the second worldwar. And we would play bridge with her friends and they would say that I was a really charming boy.
I would write poems in secret and would never show them to anyone, not because I was embarrassed but becase I didnt think it was anything special.
My favourite month would be September.
I would actually notice when you had cut your hair.
When I was in love I would kiss her in the middle of the street, throw pebbles at her window at late Saturday nights when I've been to a party without her just 'cause I missed her so much, I would tell her everything I liked about her, I would get into fights with guys who told mean things about her, I would be totally silent when she talked and ask her deep questions and I would do anything to make her smile.
I would be the guy that smiles at a girl on the bus and says "You are really cute" on rainy Wednesdays.
I would play the saxophone.
When I would turn 19 I would leave and move to London and never return.
I would have three best friends, two guys and one girl. And we would know everything about eachother. The girl's name would be Elisa and I would always be a little bit in love with her. But she would break my heart everytime I said 'I love you' and I would forgive her everytime.

So anyone else ho wants to meet Matthew?

You and me let's steal a car.

I dreamed the strangest dream this night. I don't remember it, although it was about the boy. That, I'm sure of. Today I have to be an extremely good girl and write 700 words about Rihanna. And study to the philosophy-exam that I have tomorrow. And pack for the trip.
I just want to write a little bit before all that. Maybe five random facts about me? Oui?

- I always borrow too many books from the library. So I always have like five books that I don’t read on my bedside table.

- My eyes are mixed with green and brown. And in some light they are golden.

- My friends say that I have a jacket-fetish. I totally disagree. 12 jackets are not that much.

- I can play guitar, piano and violin.

- I always expect that people is honest. So when people isn’t I can get really confused.

So maybe I'm not the one.

Christine Baranski – Does Your Mother Know

She talks about very little else except maybe how expensive cigarettes are.

I read this book now called "The perks of being a wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky. I started to read it today, and I already almost read half of it. Such a nice book. You just want to scribble every sentence down just to remember it. Beautiful. Anyway, the boy in the book 'Charlie' makes a mix tape as a present to a friend. And here it is. 'One winter' it's called. Almost as beautiful as the book.

One Winter

Everybody disappear, you're in it on your own.

I have had a wonderful time so far this weekend. Yesterday I met E and G, we went and bought Ben & Jerry. G is an exchange student from New Zeeland and well, we obviously have to talk engslih with her. So when we were in the grocery store there were some girls that started to laugh (at us apperently), but honestly why care? So some sweets and ice cream later we walked home to E. Looked at a new episode of Skins, laughed at the fact that G's grandpa has Facebook and drank tea. Then after G and all of E's siblings had gotten to sleep, me and E sat up 'til 2.30 am playing Scrabble. We were so great! We used every single letter and... yeah.

When we woke up it was time for the weekly cleaning hour of the house. So I helped a little bit, and won over E's littlesister at Four In A Row, three times. We went to the thrift store and G and E found some clothes (I forgot that I spoke english!) and two girls there had the exact hairstyle that I want, then we looked at the adorable rabbits in the animal-store (G found it quiet funny that we actually pay for walkingsticks, 'cause in New Zeeland they walk around in the streets) and bought chocolate balls. E's home again to eat lunch and then we went to the city for a snow ball fight. It was a Facebook-group that had started it and like 1000 had confirmed that they would be there. When we arrived it was at the most like 50 people. But it was fun anyway.

Here is the stores I will visit at King of Prussia. And I want a lipstick, maybe this one?

Je veux jouer à joue contre vous.

Brigitte Bardot – Moi Je Joue

Sometimes you don't need a headline.

I smoked my first cigarette today. It was between the philosophy and english lesson and me and J had just left A at the bus station. It is J's birtday today and she had just bought cigaretts. We passed our admirers sitting at McDonald's eating icecream. I said something like 'Maybe I should give it a try...' and J couldn't believe it. She got all excited, found a lighter in her bag and cigarettes she had gotten as a birthday gift. We stood at the corner at Lilla Torget and I (ok, J 'cause I didn't get the hang of it) lit the first cigarett. Then she called A, who couldn't believe it. Between my two fingers with nails painted orange-glittery was the little thing that is one of the coolest things I know. J said she was honoured to be my 'first-smoker-friend', I laughed, but I just wanted to hug her there and then for being such a good friend.
After that, we went to 7-eleven and bought chewing gum. Although I took two at the same time, so did the girls in my class notice that we smelled smoke when we came in and sat down at the back of the classroom. And the new girl and the exchange student whispered about us. But I didn't care. I have one of the best friends you can have. I passed him too, I wonder if he smelled it. He still touches his hair when he sees me.

Name the pet and let it go.

Name The Pet – Sunshine

Decide what you like or not.

pictures from caroline

That is shoeporn. Honestly, I want them so bad! Too bad they wont be out 'til next fall.
Today was the science test, gosh, it wasn't that hard but still. What else? Hm.. A decided to make J's last day as a child to hell. It was funny. We have really gotten better on the 'do-not-become-absolutely-quiet-and-stare-when-the-senior-boys-passes-by'-thing. I can actually hold a normal conversation even if I see them. Pat on the shoulder!
Borrowed some nice music at the library today. Name The Pet, The Smiths, Laakso, Hello Saferide and The Killers was welcomed to my Ipod. Next thursday I will be on my way to New York City! Made a playlist for it, have removed music like Regina Spektor's Laughing With where she sing "noone laughs at god when the air-plane starts to uncontrallably shake..." no, thank you!