Here we go again, I kinda wanna be more than friends.

Last friday I went out and became that drunkie that I hate. And I met a guy who knows a guy which has been involved with my friend for like one year and a half now... We made out but then I got panickie and just went away from him. Then J started to stir me like only she can do. "Go back to him right now!" and I refused. So then we see him starting to talk with another girl. And J almost screams at me to go to him... So I went up to him, standing in front of the girl and looked at him saying "Shall we go?". We went. And by now I'm so drunk. I have memory slots... But we went home to him. Doing things but not ALL if I remember it right. Next morning I wake up... And realizes I have no clue on where I am. He asks after my name so he can add me on Facebook, he already had gotten my number. I call a cab and do walk of shame deluxe! Ohh gosh. I was really nauseated, thought I was going to puke in the cab... Came home and discovered the brutal hickeys on my neck. So turtleneck on! T came home over the weekend from Norway so then he came over and we went into the city. He teased me so bad. Sent texts and pictures to friends. Then in the evening when I just laid in bed watching weird documentaries he texted me. Wondering if I wanted to hang out on Sunday. I said yes. So Sunday evening after studying the whole day I met him up. And well... It was the first good date I've ever been to... We hanged out for like three and a half hour. Then he was wondering if I was free sometime in the week. So tomorrow (or today if your a know-it-all) I'm going over to his place to cook dinner together.

The thing is... I don't want a boyfriend. Really! So this is like perfect 'cause he's from another country and studies somewhere else, so he's only here until July! We'll see if this is worth pursuing. Now I will try to sleep again. Damn butterflies.

Hey there sister, wife.

I haven't written in a while, I know. It's just so much right now... I was skiing with the school in Val d'Isere a couple of weeks ago. That was fun. Although I... I must get control of the alcohol. I don't like the person I get when I'm drunk... I'm mean. I scream. OK, I don't know if anyone else notice it. But I do and it's such a strange feeling. I say things and while I say things I'm hating myself for saying it. You know. It's like I'm somebody else and I'm watching myself from the inside. And I can't stop it. 

Yeah... Well the alcohol isn't that fun anymore. I get so wasted. I don't wanna become a person like that. 

And at the same time I'm just so tired. Tired of all the people that does things that are stupid and degrading and pure evil. I don't know if I can fight them off much more. Maybe that's why I hate my drunk self, 'cause I act like them. And I'm not like that. I don't wanna impress someone, yet I act like I want. Gosh. Maybe I think too much.