She must escape or die.

I'm currently writing a book report on a book called "The peppered moth". It is about Bessie Bawtry who hates her origin, she wants to go to Cambridge, to do bigger and more important things. I can really understand her. I must escape or die. Or something like it.

Slowly we walk through the city.

Monica Zetterlund – Sakta vi gå genom stan

Oh gosh. Oh my god. I almost want to cry. I found thissite called The Student Room and looked around there a little bit. Until now I have felt I had a fair chance in getting in to Cambridge. Now I don't know anymore. I read personal statements and damn. Those people are good!
But I'm gonna get in. So here's what I'm going to do:
1. Read, read and read books on the subject.
2. Start playing the violin again or the piano.
3. Get active in the political group.
4. Sign up for the next half-mara in my town.
5. Get straight fucking As.

We all get to slip [sic] sometimes everyday.

The last few days has been rumbling and tumbling, topped with a summer that has finally arrived. Honestly, it was like in the tropics (ok, I've never been to the tropics, so there you go) all wet-sticky and hot. The classrooms was a nightmare for sure. Tuesday I had the important math-exam and all went well. I met A and J afterwards and all was fine. Then on the evening I accidentily became a part of a fight over Facebook. Generally I'm all against putting anything other than sarcasm and witty comments, mixed with care and love into the develish world of Facebook. But there has to be a first time for everything, right? To my (what it look likes, very childish defence) she was the one who started it! I just asked her to do her part of a group assignment. Anyways, so there I was crying over Facebook with J on the phone and damn, what mean things some people can say. I guess I wasn't very nice either, but what could I do? Just sit there and take her crap? Oh no, that's not my style. I logged out 'cause my mother needed the computer, and since then I haven't talked to her. She hasn't been in school and I'm not like her taking everything out on Facebook. (For the record, I blame group assignments, they always brings out the worst in people.) Although this has put some of our common friends in a inconvenient situation. They (J and L) don't want to pick sides. I understand them, but H chose my side. I didn't even have to say it. Apart from this boring/dodgy/mean/ugly coincidence the last few days have been perfect. The sun has been shining, I've weared summer clothing, met friends I haven't met in days and I tanned for real today! Yesterday I was on a traveling exhibition which was very interesting. I e-mailed CSN regarding some financial questions. Joined a political youth society. Figured out what I really want to read at Cambridge. Found the perfect mis/matched bikini on H&M. Drank Coke on the stairs of the Art museum. Been in the Botanical garden for four hours, eating strawberries and talking. I guess May is my favourite month after all.

Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

— Don Miguel Ruiz

The best looking boys are taken.

Belle and Sebastian – Judy and The Dream of Horses - BBC Radio Session

When words don't mean anything.

in an effort to get people to look

into each other's eyes more,

the government has decided to allot

each person exactly one hundred

and sixty-seven words, per day.

when the phone rings, i put it

to my ear without saying hello.

in the restaurant i point

at chicken noodle soup. i am

adjusting well to the new way.

late at night, i call my long-

distance lover and proudly say:

i only used fifty-nine today.

i saved the rest for you.

when she doesn't respond, i know

she's used up all her words,

so i slowly whisper i love you,

thirty-two and a third times.

after that, we just sit on the line

and listen to each other breathe.

- "the quiet world" by jeffrey mcdaniel

Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.

I honestly think there is something about zodiacs. I mean maybe not all of your personality comes from your zodiac, but it matters. As well as your siblings, parents, generation and sometimes something so simple as tv-shows affects you. I am Pisces. The sign of water, emotionals and sensitive sign. And listen to this "...she can have a weakness for drugs or alcohol if imbalanced.". Oh my God! I avoid alcohol, mostly because of the horrific taste (honestly, how can you drink and poison yourself with that?), but also 'cause I feel like I won't be able to restrain myself. The other thing that is written here, that I feel really conincide with me is this part "...for you are the most sensitive and psychic sign in the horoscope". Me, psychic?! Finally I have the (maybe a little dopey) answer to my curse. Have I mentioned that? Yes, I meet people that I. Don't. Want. To. Meet. And often I can feel it beforethe actual meeting and look around alot until I see the person.
Another thing about this astrology-thingy. Me and my friends' horoscopes in the newspaper was spot on today! Almost a little scary, although I know they write it so almost everyone can realate. So I wont think about that anymore.

I don't need a man to make it happen, I get off being free.

I spoke to a friend about school, boys and bitchy girls. We all know them. The girls who smiles a little too much, who are always degrading themselves so other have to compliment them and who sees boys as a statusfactor. And I caught myself despicing them. Not the boys, no I couldn't care less about the boys, but the girls. Who, when and where decided that if you have a guy in your little crowd - even if he is ugly - your gang is cooler than the all-girls gangs? It feels so lame still hanging on to that, I mean haven't we grown ANYTHING the last two (for me, wonderful) years? When are we girls supposed to let go of all comparements? Personally, I have never been in a realationship and if you don't count my weak PMS-days I have never felt the need for one either. What can a guy do to make me happy if I can't do it myself? Am I right? Or maybe I'm just really tired. So I will now sleep - alone.

Whatever they say we're the ones who never say no.

Shout Out Louds – Walls

Oh gosh. I'm so tired. Spent the beautiful day in the garden digging up dandelions. They are so many! Later I changed into my new Zara dress and I only had to have a cardigan over it. Finally spring is here! I went to the gym with L, really fun and then to a french café. It was really nice.

I'm really bored with people saying what I can and can't do.

I bought three magazines this week. One of them was Bon. I've never read it before, I just bought it 'cause it was so beautiful and classy. Anyway I'm really glad I did. I love the articles! Today I bought a dress at Zara and a ring at Topshop. I got two tests and a school work back today and I got MVG on all of them! Damn I'm good. Although my biggest goal right now is the national test in math on Tuesday! Bam bam BAAM! I'm so nervous. It feels like I've forgetten everything... So the next days will be math-only days! Bought somr lovely pralilnes too I got dark chocolate mousse and viol. I went to the theater today too! Watched Shutter Island with H. That movie really freaked me out, hate movies that just turns. We didn't see the millionaire boy today, but we saw his friend dressed up in a sailorcostume! Hell yeah, random.

Million dollar baby.

One senior in my school won one million today on a lottery! How sick is that? I mean I first couldn't understand it. He. Just. Won. ONE MILLION! If I would win one million I would freak out! Gosh. But that is the thing for him, it's no 'if' involved in that sentence anymore. Apperantly he scratched the lottery ticket in the classroom. Totally crazy. If I would win one million I would take J to the Acne store and buy her everything and I wouldn't have to worry about study loan or anything like that. I would be able to start completly fresh. Oh, only if. Other things that have happend? Well, last sunday me, E, G, F and J sat on a hill eating pasta sallad watching the beautiful sunset. A fine thing to do. Yesterday I got a hug from my italian teacher, she is the sweetest! After that I got a surprise test, but it actually went pretty good I must say. Tomorrow I have the oral test. That is extremely scary. But how hard can it be. I mean if a whole country speak the language, then I can.

Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you.

Johnny Cash – I Walk The Line

If you want to have money, read this.

Like somewhere here, I died. Click to their page and die you too!

I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

You look nice all right.

I need some new make-up. Maybe I should do a list right here, what I need.

- Pink blush from Estee Lauder

- Lipstick from Chanel
- Bronzer from Guerlain

- Eye shadows

- YSL Toché Eclat

- Primer from Smashbox

Yep. That was it. Now I'm going to hit the shower and then my comfy bed.

Yes, I guess you could say I am a loner, but I feel more lonely in a crowed room with boring people than I feel on my own.